am i doing it right?

i'm grouchy. moody. -_-
there are tonnes of things piling up and i wonder if i EVER get to finish them on time.
my neck is aching as usual. heavy always.
is my head too big? -_- wtf.
i think i'm spending too much time sloughing in front of my PC.
i'm literally rotting in front of my PC.
i can't seem to peel away.
am i too devoted to my forums? so much that i'm losing my own life?
there are so many things going in my mind and i want to blog it all down
BUT.. BUT i'm always not blogging.
it seems that i'm always abandoning my blog sites.
then wtf am i doing here again?
*search me, too*
i guess i need to vent my fustrations, which is why i'm back here.

my soju hut at xanga has long been gone.
doing nothing in there but looking at my shinhwa skin warm up my heart.
oh boy! i'm so tired.
i feel like quitting all i have on hand.
no.. i'm not a quitter! i'm not.
but the things going on in the forum is simply driving me nuts.
only the ones closest to me are aware of how i'm REALLY feeling.
i fcuking hate my life.

no.. wait! one thing happy. i dreamt of tvxq this morning and i kicked 재중.
hahaha! i'm insane

listening to Shinhwa 7th jib - Angel

m's $5 project

my heart is thumping rapidly still. i thought i was in lala land when i read the news about my darling m's $5 project. rei msn-ed me at about 2.30am to inform me. it is a blessing i woke up at 3am XD i was shaking as i read the article rei and michelle co-posted in ShinHwa ChangJo. we REALLY did it. i'm slapping myself to make sure i'm NOT dreaming. we got lots of criticism when this project was posted on several forums. people slammed us with many sarcasm saying we are cheating people of their $ and other ridiculous reasons. NOW these are the same people to have their feet in their mouth.

i'm hyperventilating...............................
goodness.. i'm awake at ungodly hours :X
before i go, i must spazz at m's bump!!! perf on 051104 KM ShowTank.
awesome is not the word to describe.
daunting. formidable. magnificent.
what is going through his mind as he read about this
moneytoday

i love u, m <333
listening to m - bump!!!

brand new

i went back to check on my old xanga blog. the last update was on 2004 Oct 10. that was the time when my beloved shinhwa came to SG for the Euphoria concert. i felt like it was only yesterday. fond memories flooded back as i watched the Brand New 7th Story DVD. it is this very DVD that make me famous overnight in ShinHwa ChangJo, the forum that i put my heart and soul into. i'm very flattered that a fellow mod created the Rara Changjo Fanclub for me. it does make me feel even more attached to my dear shinhwa. counting back the years, i realized i've devoted more than 7 years on them. i'm growing up with them still. the tears, laughters and countless moments to relive. lately, i'm frap nuts about dbsg again. the 2nd jib is definitely a blast!

i've been unhappy lately. i seriously need to get away from somewhere to calm down my petty, yes petty little heart. i've always thought i'm a generous person to forgive and forget. but hell no. this little heart had been wrecked into a million pieces. can shinhwa glue it back? or is it dbsg? i'm trying to patch my heart back with the laughters and concerns of some friends. i believe it is working. <3

drowning in tvxq - rising sun