un-touch-able

^ㅁ^ 깜짝~
그의 행위에 놀랐어.

"我猜你一定很 shocked."
he went on to select a song.
and it was M's song =D
i was pleasantly surprised to know terence burnt this song into his car cd.
hmmm... interesting...

anyway, i took out M's 1st album and i got another shock.
'Just One Night' was written by Rara J & Brian Kim.
muahahaa!
now then i realised it was written by someone who is also known as Rara.
i'm so slow! XD
i'm known affectionately to my dear friends as Rara, too. ㅋㅋ

우... i'm so glad to be home!
i need a good rest 1st ^^

it is going to be farewell to 2006 in 2 days!
i wonder how will this brand new year be awaiting for me..
i believe it gets better as it approaches =)

strive hard

for my future.
not only for myself.. but my family as well.
i'm going to make up for the loss over the past few years of sloughing.
i DESERVE more.
i'm going to determine my own future.
boost my confidence!
work with zesty people who will inspire myself <3

my xmas

of 2006 had been one of the best holiday seasons =)
this long wait is worthwhile...



a big hug & kiss to all my dear ones for their lovely xmas gifts.
i love them.


chilling out at ritz carlton is uberly cool!
the bathroom is a dream!
i almost dozed off in the bath tub XD
the view is magnificent!

we had too much food.
roast beef, honey baked ham, hotdog cocktail, baked chicken, snacks & lots of alcohol.
it was a crazy weekend!
binging & boozing! =D



mistletoe~ i have a thing for it.
a good way to get a smooch XD


oh~ did i say this bed is cosy?
i love the fluffy pillows!
the guys were jumping onto the bed.
we were petified that they might spoil the bed :x



these candies are so pretty!

our 'guess the christmas gift' session was hilarious!
i laughed so much till i had stitches on my sides.
can't never forget the break-dance from alan, pole dancing from alvin, dirty dancing from joshua!
poor terence had to go topless for 1 game session.
he must have been freezing :x
photo-taking time was a bunch of laughters, too!
PJs theme is cooler than we all thought.
some of them had to go down for smoke & they didn't change out of their PJs.
=P the other guests shot them weird looks.

alas.. sweet moments are short-lived..
have to head back home & to work later..
it is raining cats & dogs now..
so nice to sleep in.
suddenly, i wish i took leave..

nevertheless, this xmas has been special <3
the wonderful moments are etched forever in my heart~

christmas gifts

it is so sweet of pretty ann to send me a christmas card.
it truly touches my heart <3
every word inside warmed up my little heart.
my dear friend, it is really a blessing to know u ^^

cutie runting from rgs, who is attached to inpatient, gave me a very pretty christmas serviette.
i didn't expect her sweet gift ^^
oh~ she loves '궁' especially 신. ㅋㅋ

thoughtful meiyan gave me a charming glass ornament.
it is a glass painted mirror holder <3
gorgeous!

i was really delirious to get the above presents..
but i was kinda put off when the delivery man sent a bouquet of pink roses & white bear to my workplace earlier.
it was a sweet gift but... i'm not liking it.
i wonder what is the problem with me.
most girls will jump with joy to receive flowers but not me.
i'm never a flower girly person.
i love flowers but i don't fancy receive flowers.
such a weirdo :x
i think it is partly because i don't fancy nick.
no chemistry...
he has been nice but i don't feel a thing other than a friend.
i guess he thinks otherwise.
he is always trying to ask me out for dinner & to chill out.
i ought to give him a chance but i'm so screwed.
my life is already too complicated to allow another guy into my life.
why am i always attracting the wrong attention?
i'm such a jerk for putting the bouquet into a paper bag.
i didn't want to carry it in my hands :x
i think i'm going to dread seeing him in my clinic whenever he comes to give samples to my doctors.
*tugs hair*
i shall act nonchalant.
crap.
why am i such a jerk?!

enough of these.. i must be joyful!
it is the christmas weekend!
i can't wait to hang out with my buddies.
i've waited for this season for the longest time ever.
it really means alot to me...

HAVE A BLESSED CHRISTMAS & A WONDERFUL NEW YEAR AHEAD <3

what is marriage?

during dinner, my buddy was asking some of us:
"you have been married for years with no kids.
one day, you find that the marriage is monotonous.
you realised you find your colleague/new friend very attractive & special.
he/she is the special someone who adds spice to your boring life.
would you choose to salvage your dying marriage or have an affair?"

some of us said:
"go for marriage counseling" "go for the affair" "tell your partner of this special person you've met. ask him/her if he/she finds the marriage dying."

there is no wrong or right to their answers.
in my point of view, a marriage is sacred.
it is about finding the right person & being the right person.
i marry the person because i want to spend the rest of my life with him.
he is the one to build a warm family with me.
he is the one to father our kids.
we are there for each other in moments of ups & downs.
to substain a marriage, it takes more than just love & effort.
you need commitment, understanding, togetherness, unselfishness, communication.
it is crucial to love the person as who as he/she is & NOT how you want him/her to be.
we have to constanly remind ourselves how in the 1st place we fall in love with our partners.
it could be his silly faces to make you laugh, his lame jokes (you are the only one who finds it funny), his extra efforts to pick the yucky green peas or corn out of your dishes, his caring, sensitive side that is only revealed to you..
any daily routine will make life boring.
how could we take that as an excuse that the special someone you met recently will be the party of your new life?
it is wrong!
there is no dying love.
the only thing that is dying is the faith in yourself.
what happen to the wedding vow that both of you have recited?
“For it is my solemn vow that in the name of God, I, take you to be my lawfully wedded husband/wife, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to have and to hold from this day forward, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death.”

there is always something new to discover about your husband/wife.
take the time out to explore & rediscover each other.
learn a new dance, song, hobby, sport together.
give each other breathing spaces, be thoughtful, sincere & sensitive to each other's needs.

there is no perfect person in this world but i'm willingly to love that one special imperfect man's imperfections.

quote of Barnett Brickner
"Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate."

i hope that my friends will meet their special someone & have blissful marriages.
have faith in yourselves. love will blossom.

Christina Aguerila - These Are The Special Times
Oh yeah, oh
In these moments, moments of our lives
All the world is ours
And this world is so right
You and I sharing this time together, oh
Sharing the same dream
As time goes by, we will find

These are the special times
Times we'll remember
These are the precious times
The tender times, we'll hold in our hearts forever
These are the sweetest times
These times together
And through it all one thing will always be true
The special times are the times I share with you

Mmm, oh yeah
With each moment, moment passing by
We'll make memories that will last our whole lives
As you and I travel through time together, oh yeah
Living this sweet dream
And every day we can say

These are the special times
Times we'll remember
These are the precious times
The tender times, we'll hold in our hearts forever
These are the sweetest times
These times together
And through it all one thing will always be true
The special times are the times I share with you

These tender moments
When heaven is so close
These are the moments that I know

These are the special times
Times we'll remember
These are the precious times, the tender times
We'll hold in our hearts forever
These are the sweetest times
These times together
And through it all one thing will always be true
Oh yeah, yeah

The special times are the times I share
The special times are the times we share
The special times are the times I share with you
Ooh yeah
(These are the special times)
Yeah, yeah
(Special times)
Yeah, ooh
(These are the special times)
Oh, oh
(These are the special times)

ice cream high

아이스크림!
진짜 맛있어.....
지금 아이스크림을 먹고 싶어한다!
ㅋㅋㅋ

these korean ice creams look so yummy!

mobile strap

=D i love the pink doggy mobile phone strap!
so pretty!
it reminded me of the cute puppies i saw over the weekend!
<333

dec is a joyous month!
i can't wait for the weekends =D

thank u, matchbox *^^*

feeling so sleepy~
time for bed soon...

feeling

if you think it is just a feeling, turn back & think again.
is it really that hard to reciprocate one's feelings?
how far is this going to carry on?
why does it make one feel so lost?
is it only an illusion?

all i need is you.
all i need is you to understand how i feel.
all i need is you to comprehend that i understand you.

all i need is love, understanding, faith, trust & more love.

绝

绝情
我能像你吗？
我只想当你的火柴盒里的唯一火柴
让时间倒回到3年前

好痛好痛
那一瞬间 我的心是那么的痛
痛到我好想在那一瞬间就窒息而死
你能体谅我的感受吗？
到底要哲摩我多久？

hoobastank - the reason

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you (x4)

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

gay animals

a refreshing read.
as we all know, homosexuality is a touchy issue.
most people will shun away from this topic.
i feel there is nothing wrong with it.
it is against nature?
little do we know, it existed in the animal kingdom.
i was so surprised to find out that the beautiful giraffes's homosexual activities is more than heterosexual..
i know that dolphins are sexual but i didn't expect to see the graceful black swans as one of the them :x
other homosexual animals include walrus, antelopes, gray whales & of course.. humans~
holy~ i want to see splashing orgies of gray whales.
lol~

i would love to visit this museum.
it is so interesting!
-------------------------------------
Gay animals out of the closet?
First-ever museum display shows 51 species exhibiting homosexuality

From male killer whales that ride the dorsal fin of another male to female bonobos that rub their genitals together, the animal kingdom tolerates all kinds of lifestyles.

A first-ever museum display, "Against Nature?," which opened last month at the University of Oslo's Natural History Museum in Norway, presents 51 species of animals exhibiting homosexuality.

"Homosexuality has been observed in more than 1,500 species, and the phenomenon has been well described for 500 of them," said Petter Bockman, project coordinator of the exhibition.

The idea, however, is rarely discussed in the scientific community and is often dismissed as unnatural because it doesn't appear to benefit the larger cause of species continuation.

source of news
pics of gay animals

the colors of rainbow

Once upon a time
the colors of the world started to quarrel.
All claimed that they were the best.
The most important.
The most useful.
The favorite.

GREEN said:
Clearly I am the most important. I am the sign of life and of hope. I was chosen for grass, trees and leaves. Without me, all animals would die. Look over the countryside and you will see that I am in the majority."

BLUE interrupted:
"You only think about the earth, but consider the sky and the sea. It is the water that is the basis of life and drawn up by the clouds from the deep sea. The sky gives space and peace and serenity. Without my peace, you would all be nothing."

YELLOW chuckled:
"You are all so serious. I bring laughter, gaiety, and warmth into the world. The sun is yellow, the moon is yellow, the stars are yellow. Every time you look at a sunflower, the whole world starts to smile. Without me there would be no fun."

ORANGE started next to blow her trumpet:
"I am the color of health and strength. I may be scarce, but I am precious for I serve the needs of human life. I carry the most important vitamins. Think of carrots, pumpkins, oranges, mangoes, and pawpaws. I don't hang around all the time, but when I fill the sky at sunrise or sunset, my beauty is so striking that no one gives another thought to any of you."

RED could stand it no longer he shouted out:
"I am the ruler of all of you. I am blood - life's blood! I am the color of danger and of bravery. I am willing to fight for a cause. I bring fire into the blood. Without me, the earth would be as empty as the moon. I am the color of passion and of love, the red rose, the poinsettia and the poppy."

PURPLE rose up to his full height:
He was very tall and spoke with great pomp:
"I am the color of royalty and power. Kings, cheifs, and bishops have always chosen me for I am the sign of authority and wisdom. People do not question me! They listen and obey."

Finally INDIGO spoke, much more quietly than all the others,
but with just as much determination:
"Think of me. I am the color of silence. You hardly notice me, but without me you all become superficial. I represent thought and reflection, twilight and deep water. You need me for balance and contrast, for prayer and inner peace."

And so the colors went on boasting,
each convinced of his or her own superiority.
Their quarreling became louder and louder.
Suddenly there was a startling flash of bright lightening thunder rolled and boomed. Rain started to pour down relentlessly. The colors crouched down in fear, drawing close to one another for comfort.

In the midst of the clamor, rain began to speak:
"You foolish colors, fighting amongst yourselves, each trying to dominate the rest. Don't you know that you were each made for a special purpose, unique and different?
Join hands with one another and come to me."

Doing as they were told, the colors united and joined hands.
The rain continued:
"From now on, when it rains, each of you will stretch across the sky in a great bow of color as a reminder that you can all live in peace.
The Rainbow is a sign of hope for tomorrow."

And so, whenever a good rain washes the world, and a Rainbow appears in the sky,
let us remember to appreciate one another.

source

In my search for the Rainbows end, I found, not GOLD, but you my friend.

tears

There was a study done where a control group of 100 people were divided into two.

50 people watched a very funny, tears-of laughter type movie.
50 watched a very sad and tears of compassion type movie.

At the end of the sessions researchers collected the "happy tears" and the "sad tears" with eye droppers.

They found that "happy tears" are made up of brine...salt water and not a great deal else.

However the "sad tears" were found to contain the very same chemicals and enzymes that are found in tumors, ulcers and other such lumps and bumps and sicknesses through out the body.

This test concluded that the body, when crying in sadness etc is literally flushing out all of the toxic-chemicals that accumulate and are a part of the sadness /heartache experience.

Therefore if one holds back those tears, those toxic-waters will find somewhere else to deposit themselves... and prolonged lack-of-crying-release will guarantee that the body will accumulate a huge amount of internal pollution and toxicity that should have been released through the tears.... is it any wonder that the eyes sting so much when we hold back our tears?
-----------------------------

cry your heart & eyes out.
it is better than bottling up...
let your tears flow...

好不好

希望你好好地过

好累啊...
头痛
眼痛
颈痛
背痛
脚痛
心痛

왜 남의 기분을 무시해요?

自导自演的悲剧

为了要得到幸福，是否要把双手给放开？
才能得到更多的东西？
我好想让你幸福和开心
如果我真心爱你该有快乐结局
怪我不懂珍惜

------------------
陶喆 - 自导自演的悲剧

就像早就知道 一个故事所有情节
却是四处问一别人 熟悉感觉
我们心已了解 这出戏不该再见
却没有拒绝 我看着你对着空气作表情
没有对手的戏场又一场 你只好一个人对镜头笑
如果我真心爱你该有快乐结局 怪我不懂珍惜
把你推向他 我来不及 改变结局
这是我自导自演的悲剧 自导自演的悲剧

那是什么动力 为何还要由而不屈
事情变得两害使人重复过去 毕竟有种美丽
爱越苦就越刺激 最后想像了意义
我看着你对着空气作表情 没有对手的戏场又一场
你只好一个人对镜头笑 如果我真心爱你该有快乐结局
怪我不懂珍惜 把你推向他
我来不及 改变结局 这是我自导自演的悲剧
如果我真心爱你能否改变结局 还是不懂珍惜
又搁在以前 我来不及 改变结局
这是我 自导自演的悲剧

是你是我 只能怪自己

似曾相识

如果真的有下一世, 就让我把错给纠正吧.
我到底要什么？ 为何我总是那么的害怕？
往常的喜好都渐渐的消失了...
我... 什么了？
-------------------
陶喆 - 似曾相识

噢~~似曾相识
那一片阴沉如海的天 和你擦身而过
有些晃神你再回头 才发现我的行路在延
我却无法解释是谁 乱了我生活

该怎么做才能把回忆都删去
该怎么做才能把回忆都删除
错过了幸福我像跌入迷雾

遇见你有种似曾相识的感觉
仿佛有种同样感受在你的眼底
能不能让我们再相遇
能不能让我再次认识你
似曾相识犹如游戏

那一片深入你的世界 和你擦身而过
却忘了要往哪里走 才感觉我的心看不见
我该怎么解释是你 乱了我生活
我看见同样感受在你眼底

遇见你有种似曾相识的感觉
是否在前世我们有逆转不去
能不能这次改变命运
能不能这次让我真的爱你
还是往事别在提起

遇见你有种似曾相识的感觉
是否在前世我们有逆转不去
能不能让我把你忘记
能不能把我定下对你追寻
或许我能不再想你

遇见你有种似曾相识的感觉

jinx

car jinx.
yes, i am.
it is so crappy that i feel so down.

things are not going well.
probably, i'm too stressed out.
can't sleep well at night.
dread going to work.
falling sick so easily.
coming into the 3rd month and i ought to adapt well by now.
i know i'm a fast learner but why am i feeling so incompetent?
this is not right.
why am i feeling this way?
perhaps i should go back into food industry.
maybe venturing into a new industry is not a safe & wise bet of mine.

my head hurts so much that i feel like smashing it.

말을 하지마

싫어...
'보고싶삼' 말을 하지마..
특이 오늘 밤에..

proposal

i just watched the tv programme on ways to propose.
that guy strummed the guitar & sang 'more than words'.
romantic!
holy.. that is one of my dream proposal.

in a very bad mood.
feel like crying.
my things were thrown away.. again...
i didn't want to blow up at my mum.
but this is not the 1st time.
i've told her to ask me 1st before she discards anything.
once again, it happened.
i'm going mad.

나.. 나쁜 년...

距离

人体的距离？
心灵的距离？
到底哪个比较遥远？
A君住在离你不远的地方 而且几乎天天能相见 可是你总觉得他的心好遥远.
B君远住他乡 相见的机会都不可多得 但是他总是很关心你.
你会被谁感动？

心灵的距离是很难或不可能拉近的.

如果人类不是感情丰富的动物 那该多好啊..
好想变成个冷血动物.

多么想到海边 大大声的呐喊.
谁会陪我？

turtle

what are you?
i doubt i'm a turtle :x
am i really that sweet & nice?
sigh...


If you are a Dog: A very loyal and sweet person.Your loyalty can never be doubted. You are quite honest and sincere when it comes to your attitude towards working. You are a very simple person, indeed. Absolutely hassle free, humble and down-to-earth!! That explains the reason why your friends cling on to you! You have a good taste for clothes. If your wardrobe is not updated with what is trendy, you sure are depressed. Popular and easy-going. You have a little group of dignified friends,all of them being quality-personified.

If you are a Mouse: Always up to some sort of a mischief! The mischievous gleam in your eyes is what makes you so cute and attractive to everyone. You are an extremely fun-to-be-with kind of person. No wonder, people seek for your company and look forward to include you for all get-togethers. However, you are sensitive, which is a drawback. People need to select their words while talking to you. If someone tries to fiddle around and play with words while dealing with you, it is enough to invite your wrath. God bless the person then!

If you are a Lion: Quite contradictory to your name, you are a peace loving person. You best try to avoid a situation wherein you are required to fight. An outdoor person, you dislike sitting at one place for a long duration. You are a born leader, and have it in you how to tactfully derive work from people. You love being loved, and when you receive your share of limelight from someone, you are all theirs!!!! Well, well... hence some people could even take an advantage, flatter you to the maximum and get their work done. So be careful.....

If you are a Cat: An extremely lovable, adorable person, sometimes shy,with a passion for quick wit. At times, you prefer quietness. You love exploring various things and going into depth of each thing. Under normal circumstances you're cool, when given a reason to, you are like a volcano waiting to erupt. You're a fashion bird. People look forward to you as an icon associated with fashion. Basically, you mingle along freely but don't like talking much to strangers. People feel very easy in your company. You observe care in choosing your friends.

If you are a Turtle: You are near to perfect and nice at heart.The examples of your kindness are always circulated in groups of people.You, too, love peace. You wouldn't like to retaliate even to a person who is in the wrong. You are loved due to this. You do not wish to talk behind one's back. People love the way you always treat them. You can give, give and give love, and the best part is that you do not expect it back in return.You are generous enough.Seeing things in a practical light is what remains the best trait of you guys.

If you are a Dove: You symbolize a very happy-go-lucky approach in life.Whatever the surroundings may be, grim or cheerful, you remain unaffected.In fact, you spread cheer wherever you go. You are the leader of your group of friends and good at consoling people in their times of need. You dislike hypocrisy and tend to shirk away from hypocrites. They can never be in your good books, no matter what. You are very methodical and organized in your work. No amount of mess, hence, can ever encompass you. Beware, it is easy for you to fall in love....

If you are a Panther: You are mysterious. You are someone who can handle pressure with ease, and can handle any atmosphere without going berserk.You can be mean at times, and love to gossip with your selected group.Very prim and proper. You like all situations and things to be in the way you desire, which, sometimes is not possible. As a result, you may lose out in some relationships. But otherwise, you love to help people out from difficult and tight spots when they really need you.

If you are a Monkey: Very impatient and hyper!!! You want things to be done as quick as possible. At heart, you are quite simple and love if you are the center of attraction. That way, you people are unique. You would like to keep yourself safe from all the angles. Shall your name be dragged or featured in any sort of a controversy, you then go all panicky. Therefore, you take your precautions from the very beginning. When you foresee anything wrong, your sixth sense is what saves you from falling in traps. Quite a money minded bunch you people are!!

疯了

我看我八成是疯了
我既然把我yepp里的韩语歌统统给删除了
我到底是这么了
好想大声地痛哭一场
为何我的情绪总是那么乱
我好想假装一切都没改变
我真的是傻到不可救药

你很爱他

f.i.r - 你很爱他

当你决定 你要离开我 我没有说什么
就当作你自由 有好几次 我都想忘了
苦酒也没有用 就当作是寂寞 只有我能明白
他的温柔 对你是种解脱 其实要告诉我
只是你的最爱 其实你很爱他 对我的惩罚
说你没有想他 谁可怜我吧 我也没有借口
只能放手 不敢奢求 你说爱我
其实你很爱他 他很温柔吗 其实你很想他
就说出口吧 我也不想多说 捂住耳朵
不想再次听到你说 你很爱他

其实你很爱他 对我的惩罚 说你没有想他
谁可怜我吧 我也没有借口 只能放手
不敢奢求 你说爱我 其实你很爱他
他很温柔吗 其实你很想他 就说出口吧
我也不想多说 捂住耳朵 不想再次听到你说
你很爱他
你很爱他...

the covenant

:x i went to watch this movie despite of my eye infection.
well.. this movie does not require to use much of my brain cells to understand the plot.
pretty straight forward & lotsa eye candies.
sans some ugly scenes of darklings, spiders, creepy corridors~
the leads are all pretty babes & hunks =P
the sons of ispwich, studying in an elite boaridng school, are born with special powers.
i do think that is cool~
the ability to do anything you desire.
i would love to teleport myself to any destination =)

watch this witching movie trailer at the covenant

i'm sorry

matchbox..
i caused the scratch on your car indirectly.
shouldn't have called..

i'm truly sorry...
;(

sore eye

눈이 아파요...
싫어...
의사의 진찰을 받았어요..

i must have seen too much porn :x
nah! just kidding!
don't ever believe i was watching porn.
the doc told me it was eye infection.
must be my lenses and solution..
boo hoo~

feeling sleepy..
the prescription causes drowsiness

balloon

be free~

finally watching goong again after a long break.
how nice it would be to go anywhere without being the attention of the public.

channel news asia

wah~ saw this at clinic.
ying sms-ed me when she saw it on tv mobile.
i didn't expect to see it at my clinic =P

click here to see news interview of shinhwa =)

went for 肉骨茶 at balestier with terence & the bees.
it was yummy!
very peppery.. <3
after that, we went for ice cream at island creamery =P
kahlua latte is not bad.
fresh banana is ok.
apple pie is still the best!

..........

had a dream this morning.
feel really weird when i woke up..
funny convenience store, funny staff, funny customers.
@_@
i think i'm too stressed.

어떻게..

taipei

不会吧...
in jan 2007.
sigh.
don't know to feel happy or sad.
it better NOT happen.

halloween

boo!
trick or treat? =P

ooh..
i would love to eat some toffee apples, candies, pumpkin seeds, pumpkin pie~

get spooked on halloween

key of heart

ooh... english version
a pretty song by BoA ^^

La la la la la la
La la la la la la

Though we are in love
우리가 사랑에 빠져있더라도

Sometimes we do hurt each other dry and cry
우린 가끔 서로를 상처주고 말리고 울리지

Everyone has a such experience
모두가 이런경험 하나쯤은 있어

I don't know the reason why
난 그이유가 왜인지 몰라

I could not find the word to get you back
널 다시 찾을수 있는 말들은 찾지 못했었어

And I turned my back to you going out
그리고 나가기위해서 내등을 네게 돌렸지

I don't want lose your love in fact
이말은 내가 너의 사랑을 잃고싶지 않다는거야

Looking for the word
말들을 찾고있어

Just a simple word
그냥 간단한 말들을

To open up closing door of your heart
닫혀져있는 네 마음의 문을 열기 위해서

But it's hard to say for me I'm sorry
미안하다는 말은 나에겐 말하기 힘들어

I don't lose my faith
난 내 믿음을 놓치지 않아

I don't lose my nerve
난 낸 용기를 놓치지 않아

Let me go to see you to say the word
내가 네게가 가 그 말을 하게해줘

Not to be afraid to face the fear
얼굴과 불안함을 두려워하지 않는건

Is the key of heart
마음안의 열쇠

I believe in love, two hearts
난 사랑을 믿어, 두개의 사랑

I believe in love, two hearts
난 사랑을 믿어, 두개의 사랑

Thousands of your smile
천개의 네 미소

Getting back when I look back on those days of us
우리의 날들을 바라볼때로 돌아가고있어

Now I feel they are still calling me
그들이 아직 날 부르고있는걸 느껴

Maybe you're the same as me
아마 너도 나와 같을거야

Searching for the chance to make it up now
지금을 만들어낼 기회를 찾아보며

I believe you to be waiting for me
난 니가 나를 기다리고 있을거라고 믿어

I'll be with you shortly
난 너와 가까이 있을거야

Looking for the word
말들을 찾고있어

Just a simple word
그냥 간단한 말들을.

To open up closing door of your heart
닫혀져있는 네 마음의 문을 열기 위해서

But it's hard to say just once I'm sorry
미안하다는 말은 나에겐 말하기 힘들어

I don't lose my faith
난 내 믿음을 놓치지 않아

I don't lose my nerve
난 낸 용기를 놓치지 않아

Let me go to see you to say the word
내가 네게가 가 그 말을 하게해줘

Not to be afraid to face the fear
얼굴과 불안함을 두려워하지 않는건

Is the key of heart
마음안의 열쇠

To meet in this world
이세상안에서 만나는건

Is just a wonder
그저 바라는것

Now I want to say I was born to love,
이젠 난 사랑하려고 태어났다고 말하고싶어

fall in love with you,
너와 사랑에 빠졌어

live in your future
너의 미래 안에서 살아가

Open up your door
너의 문을 열어줘

Wrap me in your arms
너의 두 팔안에 나를 감싸줘

Let me dive into your heart once again
내가 니마음의 바다로 한번더 뛰어들게해줘

To try to keep our story going on
우리의 이야기를 계속 이어나가기 위한건

Is the key of heart
마음안의 열쇠

La la la la la la
La la la la la la


source

workaholic

i am not T_____T
and i do not want to be one...
a hardworking worker is different from a workaholic.
i feel it is crucial to set our priorities right.
what is the point to devote all your time to work when you could be affecting your personal life?
worse still.. your health?
soon, you will find friends 'forgetting' to ask you out because you always have to cancel your appointments at the last minute.
you may even lose sleep because you are constantly thinking about work.
the lack of sleep will lead to decreasing concentration.
irritation will soon arise WHICH will directly affect your work.
so what does that mean?
a vicious, never-ending cycle T________________T

why slough so hard?
work hard & work smart.

want to know some workholic symptons?

i hope my dear friends are not workaholics...

chocolate show

holy mooney~
i would LOVE to attend this chocolate show!
now in new york, next will be in shanghai, tokyo~ woooooooh

check out the pics of the fashion show~
you will be drooling~~
the guys will be more than happy to eat off the models.
lol!

other than eyeing delicious looking outfits (other than dreaming of gobbling up the models), there are activities that will attract you.
culinary demos~
be a lizard lounge in the chocolate lounge~
view paintings~

this is one sin that i would love to commit..
endless, shameless indulgence on chocolate!

wow! the 2004 wall of memories created by Nir Arda was so cool~


quote from chocolate show:
The empty spoon left behind represented the void left by those with whom we have enjoyed life, and since have become a bittersweet memory.

ah... craving for a piece of chocolate mint now~
*going to lala land to become a food stylist*

my ultimate love is still a food related job~
*twiddle fingers*

fly away

blah..
$ is so near yet so far...
boo hoo!
how sweet it would be if i did win it..

right track

if it feels good, then it is good.
but if you are down and out about what's happening, stop the train and get off.
it just won't be worth the ride unless it's supporting your ultimate vision of where you want to go.

what do i want?
what do u want?

source

the guardian

would say that it is not bad~
considering i get to see gorgeous ashton kutcher =P
like him since 'that 70's show'.
nerdy kelson. lol~
the guardian is a tribute to u.s coast guards~
"so others may live"

crappy

today has been such a horrible day!
before i left for work, i realised my mummy dearest gave away some books (which belongs to my friend) to the rags & bones man.
how am i supposed to tell my friend? T.T
30 mins after the clinic started, i was summoned into the room & questioned at why patients were not seen.
in the 1st place, mr. chief was not even around at 9am! he is always late!!!!!
2nd, his mo (who claimed to be at clinic at 8am) was not even there!
i was told by my girls that he was walking in & out of the clinic.
3rd, mr. chief can always get the 2nd patient in the list to see him since 1st patient had not returned from breakfast!
4th, the nurse told me both doc were discussing some irrelevant things in the clinic till 9.30am & they REALISED why patients have not seen them.
5th, to summon patients in is NOT MY DUTY! they are the ones to decide!!!!!!!!!
WTF!!!!!
after a lousy start, went to attend 3 meetings....
*almost brain dead*

finally endured the day & waiting for the bus to go home...
waited for more than 20 mins!
usually, it takes less than 5 mins.
guess what?! 2 buses came at the same time! =.=
everyone was scrambling to board the buses and ended up getting pushed T.T
i thought the nightmare of the day was over after i alighted.
in the end?
i got honked at by a Nissan Cefiro~ wtf!
hello!!!! his damn car was more than 80m away from me!
wtf did he honk me for?!
i ended up pointing my middle finger at him :x
i'm so pissed!!!!! arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

ok~ i must calm down.
it is the weekend & it is truly precious to me..
i must be happy!
i must be happy!

I MUST BE HAPPY!

i'm going to enjoy my dinner & movie later <3

what am i?

i'm a cross between aquarius & pisces.
i possess both signs' characteristics~
wonder if this is good or bad~~

aquarius or pisces

Aquarians are always intelligent, concise, clear and logical. Many have lots of imagination and are very intuitive.

The Age of Aquarius, which is about to begin, is the age in which mankind will experience a great spiritual awakening.

The negative side of Aquarius is fanatical eccentricity, egotism, excessive detachment and an inclination to retreat from life and society.

They are also secretive, hard to know, and hardly know themselves.

They must learn how to use power wisely, they have vitality, have an urge to rule.

They are easygoing, affectionate, submissive and offer no threat or challenge to stronger and more exuberant characters.

They are emotional rather than rational, instinctive more than intellectual, and have limited willpower.

They tend to withdraw into their own dream world as a retreat from the harsh reality of day - to -day living and the inability to cope with real life.

i'm always burying myself away from the harsh reality :x
sometimes, i do not even understand myself.
wish i could be more sane.

went for lunch with 2 of my closest colleagues.
jeanelle's friend, coman, came to fetch us to ikea.
boy! i missed the swedish meatballs! yummy!
oh~ another interesting thing~
coman loves japanese & korean dramas & soft toys!!!
it is uncommon to find a guy who adores such things.
and a very tall singaporean guy. lol~
i find it really amusing XD
we kinda bullied him.
hahha~ we are mean girls.

i wonder how my ol' buddy is doing in finland & paris.
wah.. i would love to be in his place to sample all the yummy food!!!
and shopping~ all the lavish boutiques, cafes~
i want to stroll along the romantic streets of paris <3

*day dream mode*

진짜?

i wonder how true these horoscopes are...
just now, i overheard the horoscopes forecast for aquarius & pisces.

air sign:
异国恋情即将发生

water sign:
桃花运旺
适合的另一半将出现

아.. 진짜요? 정말요?
blah~

yesterday, i encountered 2 very different services in Takashimaya.
at my fav dessert store, the auntie's service was excellent!
would say she is devoted to her job to bring the best service.
at Gucci store (the so-called high end store), the sales rep was haughty & her replies to laura's enquiries were f-king rude.
i thought high end stores would provide better services?
ha~ crap

dwell upon

If you woke up this morning with more health than illness...
you are more blessed than the million who will not survive this week.

If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation you are ahead of 500 million people in the world.

If you can attend a church meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, torture, or death...
you are more blessed than three billion people in the world.

If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep...
you are richer than 75% of this world.

If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace ...
you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy.

If your parents are still alive and still married ...
you are very rare, even in the United States and Canada.

If you can read this message, you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world who cannot read at all.

What then shall we lucky ones do?

Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.
Sing like nobody's listening.

Live like it's Heaven on Earth.
Do something nice for someone every day!

source

big ego

man aka mr neo is irritating the h3ll out of me.
not every girl is materialistic like what he presumes.
stop telling me about your evo 9, ur condo, ur manager post, ur watch, ur 3 car plates, blah blah~
i'm not interested to know.
there must be a generation gap.
he does not know what is anime.
only 1 yr of difference but..
anyway, it does not matter whether he knows what is anime.
each of us have different hobbies anyway.
he appears to be rather immature in his thinking, too.
i don't know.. just feel it from the way he talks.
what i can't tolerate most is his big ego.
i'm not going to feed his ego.
no way.

woooh

their comeback on kbs is <3
in fact, i think this is my fav out of all their comebacks~
live perf is 짱~
relived to see 윤호 doing well...
준수 seems to be so smiley =D
현준~~ ㅋㅋ

clubs hopping

well.. we intended to hop from st james power station to mos to the butter factory.
power station was a bore.
mos was too freaking packed!
butter factory was too quiet.
blah~ none of these can entertain us.
cam-whoring was fun though, especially in the toilets. lol~
soon, we got pretty sick of st james.
as ususal, we debated & tried to decide on a place to eat at.
no where else to go?
eat =)

finally, i thought of desserts at tong shui cafe at zion road & off we go~
i'm surprised that the gang have not been to this place.
sob~ the white fungus dessert sux :x
i thought it would be the soft, jelly-like dessert.
instead, it was crunchy. the type i hated :x
but as long the gang love the food, i'm happy.
they were gobbling down the food as if they haven't ate for days. lol~
i would have eaten the thick toast if i didn't have a sore throat.
i've craving for toast.......
*drool*

빵 빵 빵~ 먹고 싶어~ ㅋㅋ

pms

:x
damnit.. i hate to be a woman, only at certain time of the month.
pms is one of the worst things to happen to us.
bloated. water retention. tummy pain. cramp. zits.
blah~

ah... the consolation i get is...
alot of people have been saying i look much younger than my real age.
^^;
good to look young right? =D

time to sleep..
i'm so drained.
many things to do but i'm really drained of energy..
zzzzZZZzzzzzz

the last name

are u bored with ur life?

those who have not watched part 01.
trailers here.

part 02 is what i'm waiting for.
i love dark, twisted stories.

i'll be there

061014 쇼음악중심 comeback special

061015 인기가요

hope 윤호 is recovering fast.
he is going through too much hardships.
it feels so weird not to see him in today's perf.
they won the mutizen.

why do i feel so down when i hear 'i'll be there'?

cute

i love rodents <3

haha!
i love felines <3

happy birthday

to 동해 <3

anti

holy frack!
i was taken aback when i read the news :(
an anti-tvxq fan drugged yunho's drink during the filming of KBS' 'Girls 6' yesterday.
there was a note to curse him to death.
after consuming the spiked drink, he vomitted & was sent to the hospital.
that vicious anti must be captured by the police.
this is absurd.

동방신기 유노윤호, '음료수 테러'

그룹 '동방신기'의 유노윤호(20)가 안티팬으로 추정되는 여성에게 '본드 음료수' 테러를 당했다.

14일 밤 10시께 KBS 2TV '여걸식스' 녹화 도중 휴식시간에 팬으로 위장한 여성에게서 건네 받은 음료수를 받아 마신 유노윤호는 구토 증세를 보이며 병원으로 급히 옮겨졌다. 음료수에는 본드로 추정되는 유해물질이 들어있는 것으로 알려졌다.

사고 후 현장에서는 '너를 죽여 버리겠다'는 내용의 쪽지도 발견됐다.

동방신기 측은 "유노윤호가 마신 음료수 병을 15일 국립과학수사연구소에 지문감식 의뢰키로 했다"고 밝혔다.

유노윤호는 병원으로 가는 도중 피를 많이 흘렸지만 생명에는 지장이 없는 것으로 알려졌다. 현재 서울 강남의 병원에서 입원 치료중이다.
newsis

friend

A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.

A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first
names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address
book.

A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and clean.

A simple friend hates it when you call after he has
gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.

A simple friend seeks to talk with you about their
problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it.

A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you
have an argument.
A real friend knows that it's not a friendship until
after u've had a fight.

A simple friend expects you to always be there for
them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you.

which one are you?

the departed

is a remake of 无间道.
throughout the whole movie, i kept hearing 'fuck'.
well, probably because it is a police-thief storyline.
such vulgarity is common.
begin & end a sentence with 'fuck'.
i wonder if it is a necessity?
or merely a form of expression to emphasize on the issue.
it is a blood & gore twisted movie.
there is no clear line between black & white. right & wrong.
in the end, all are dead.
blah.

i hate how i'm turning into a serious junkie.
i hate how i'm submitting to junks for comfort.
i hate how one can be nonchalant.
i hate how things are becoming.
i hate how i've to adapt to the changes.
i hate how i wanted to hate the world.
i hate how i hate assumptions.

i've made myself clear..
if u guys wish to continue to assume, i'm going to leave.
for good.
i really had enough of assumptions.
i'm going to void my heart of love.
not going to love another.
i do not want to go through this heart-wrenching cycle again.
u have made me change my views of love.
i used to think as long my guy loves me as much as i love him, it is a bliss.
i'm so naive. blame myself for loving evian.

sadly, this is not going to work on me anymore.
love & like have already turn into hate & dislike.
fairytales do not exist. just like santa claus.
just like unicorns.

timeless or heartless

if i could swop my heart, i would.
my poor heart is saturated with so many thoughts of all of you.
working much too hard to erase the pain & unhappiness.
my ailing heart is failing.
i don't think i want to endure all these anymore.
stop turning my life into a big yo-yo.
the best solution is to hate me.
it is not that hard to hate someone like me.
i want my heart to stop beating.

i don't mind turning into a robot.
but i will want to erase all memories.
what is the point of bearing all the past memories which will haunt me?
all things should start anew.
am i able to do it?
do i have the courage to start afresh?
even this robot shed tears..
would clara the robot be able to control all emotions?
maybe she can lock up her feelings?
*turns her heart into steel*

where has the innocent love gone to?
where has the unrequited love gone to?

i want to believe in forever love.
i want to believe in friends forever.
time & time again, my heart get slashed.
the bleeding has to stop somehow.
i'm so weary...
谁能带我到一个遥远的地方？
一个没有痛和伤害的地方..
我真的真的好怨卷...

i wish i have a death note to kill myself.
i want to cook up a wonderful plot for myself.

death note

lol~ fancy watching it on oct 13th~
i didn't have time to read the comic but i'm loving the plot.
i would try to read it soon.. provided i've time.
it seems like i've 1 & many other million things to do.
i wonder if i will ever finish.. but anyway..
i'll try.
'L'~ i love his style. woot!
mainly because we are junkies. lol~
i would love to have 1/2.. erm.. 1/3 of his brain cells.
such a smarty kid~
then i would have solve many problems.
that is good right?
how wonderful that would be..

having a death note book... hmm..
i wonder how it would be like?
the ability to kill someone.
very dark & mystic?
one can kill someone just with a thought.
well, i mean in theory, i can kill someone with my evil thoughts.
there is always a dark side to ABs
we are eccentric beings :x

before i went out for movie, i was watching ep 13.
lol~ coincidental huh?
ep 13 on 13th oct. lol~

so heart-warming ^^


doh.. i don't know why i feel so sad for 율 as he stood there looking at 채경, while reminiscing their encounters ;(


forced to consummate.
lol~ 신 is so shy... puahahaa!
they ended up doing crutches & playing games.. till...


채경 hit him near his eye with the bead.. &...
smooch....? almost..


&... finally... =D
(kissing scenes in movies & dramas are always so <3)


i've the sudden urge to cry...
this drama is really getting onto me...

pringles

lalalaa~ who love pringles?
ME! =P
on a junkie spree @ serene centre just now ^^;;


then i went for some interesting ice cream with matchbox =D
guess the flavors?

left = apple pie
right = nutella
super delicious! =D love it!
better than habanero chili.. :x
that gave me a bad sore throat.

oh! i didn't know this product is already in the market ^^;
i was so surprised to see it..

in the end, i was teased by matchbox.
i'm not a junkie afterall!
matchbox is the REAL junkie! LOL~

i can't finish goong today.. blah..
having a slight headache again..
i think i should just go to bed early..
been feeling rather tired lately...
this is my earliest night to sleep ^^
zzzzZZZzzzzz

habanero chili ice cream

muahahaa~~
i had this special ice cream just now.
u read it right.. i didn't type wrongly.
it is habanero chili ice cream.
vanilla ice cream with habanero chili blend.
sweet with a touch of spice.
yummy.. but now i'm having a sore throat.
that power.. :x


i'm loving rochester park <333
been there twice with 2 of my closest friends.
both sessions were so fun =D

1 rochester is more for chilling out with alcohol.
north border has excellent food.
yummy!

oh~ i forgot!
hehhee~
i saw this pasta dish that reads as 'aunty helen's whoop yo' ass pasta'
it is a spicy seafood pasta.
it reminded me of dear helen =P

ooooh... this scene is so <3
why 신 becomes so sweet....?! ah!
gaga~ *hug myself*


ah~ ep 11 is so sweet!
he carried 채경 when she fainted in sch.. omg..
haha! he still don't want to admit he has indeed fallen for 채경.
muahahahaha~ own up, prince charming!

*pulls hair*
then 율.. sigh.. 默默地守着..
好可怜


슬퍼요..

small world

wah..
i'm meeting a financial planner this wed & my new colleague is his friend, too!
what a smal small world!
yeah.. i've many new colleagues this month ^^
all newbies. so fun!

i'm going to cheong 궁... =P
this drama is airing tonight on ch U!
bet it will be a big hit =)

hmm.. a nice surprise to get a call from my buddy =)

bears

stupid 신!
is it that hard to make a phone call back to report safety?
the ego of guys is bigger than a mountain!
*slaps*

one reason that i love 궁 alot is partly due to bears.
i always love teddy bears & i've lost count of the # of bears i have at home ^^;
the other reason is the outfits & hairstyles.. gorgeous!
other than that, i like the storyline =)
many will love to hate 효린.
yes, she is the bitch for trying to break up 신 & 채경~
which girl will not fight for her own happiness?
she regrets going for her own dreams rather than marrying 신.
how will the ending be?
i predict 신 will still pick 채경.
the silly girl who knows nothing...
but it has been hard on her.. knowing that 신 still loves 효린.
who can tolerate that?
only someone who is kind at heart.
ep 9 is where the twist starts.. ep 10 onwards will be exciting.

i realised i miss my grandmother so much..
i cried so much when the empress talked to 채경.
할머니.. 정말 보고싶어..


how nice it is to have someone to talk to & hear your heart out.


where is my someone to be there to offer his shoulder?
to promise he will make me smile


to give a hug..
to tend to me when i'm sick..
to let me cry my eyes out..
to give a little knock to wake up my senses..


do i need one?
no, i only need my teddy bears.
they will be beside me all the time.


i've always been a girl full of imagination & picture myself as the lead.
lol~ i'm that silly...
i need a reality check.
i can't live in my own fantasy world.
is it because my own life is such a bore that i'm turning to my fantasy world?
dreaming of living a life that is out of my reach..

wake up, clara~

must watch

goong (宫) is definitely better than full house.
from ep 6 on.. 신 is.. & 율 is.. <3
feel so sad for 채경.. ;(
i thought i'm no longer have any feelings..
as in.. numb & void of feelings for other people..
but i realise.. i'm loving this drama..
been a long time since i laughed so loudly~
ep 7 & 8 are very cute~
when 신 goes to 채경's house to stay for a few days <3

아이구.. 정말 귀여워 =D
when 신 wants 채경 to hug him from the back.. lol


stupid 신 trying to act cool~ boo boo~

if i can feel this way.. it means..
i still have a heart..
the last time i cried really badly for a show was 'Millionaire's 1st love'.
i think this will be the next show..
i shall try to finish this drama by tues~

Stay(스테이) - 당신은...나는 바보입니다

난 바보였었죠. 내가 바보였었죠.
我是笨蛋. 我就是笨蛋.

후회해도 늦었죠 알죠 돌이킬 순 없죠
后悔也迟了 我知道 无法再回头

그댈 볼 수 없어요 나도 알고 있어요
再也见不到你 我知道

내가 정말 잘못했어요 정말 미안해요
我真的错了 实在对不起

그땐 얘기하지 못했죠 너무 어리석었죠
那时没有说 是我太傻

이제와서 이렇게 애태우며 난 용서를 빌어요
此时此刻 我焦虑地乞求原谅

당신은 나는 바보입니다
你是 我是笨蛋

자존심 때문에
因为可怜的自尊心

술과 쓴 담배연기로 망가지고 있죠
用烟酒堕落

당신은 나는 바보입니다
你是 我是笨蛋

아직 사랑하기에 하루 종일 펑펑 울고만 있죠
因为依然爱着 所以依然流泪

그대도 나도 모두 바보처럼
但是 我依然像个笨蛋

그러진 말아요 다시 생각해봐요
不要这样 请再想想

우리 어떻게 여기까지 힘들게 왔는데
我们曾经多么艰苦地共同到现在

다시 생각해봐요 후회하실꺼예요
请再想想 会后悔吧

내가 정말 잘못했어요 정말미안해요
我真的错了实在对不起

그땐 얘기하지 못했죠 너무 어리석었죠
那时没有说 是我太傻

이제 와서 이렇게 애태우며 난 용서를 빌어요
此时此刻 我焦虑地乞求原谅

당신은 나는 바보입니다
你是 我是笨蛋

자존심 때문에
因为可怜的自尊心

술과 쓴 담배연기로 망가지고 있죠
用烟酒堕落

당신은 나는 바보입니다
你是 我是笨蛋

아직 사랑하기에 하루 종일 펑펑 울고만 있죠
因为依然爱着 所以依然流泪

그대도 나도 모두 바보처럼
但是 我依然像个笨蛋

그대 없인 나 한순간도 살 수 없어요
沒有你 我一瞬間也無法活下去

머릴 잘라도 술을 마셔도 눈물만 흐르죠
剪了頭髮 也喝了酒 我仍然流淚

당신은 나는 바보입니다
你是 我是笨蛋

자존심 때문에
因为可怜的自尊心

술과 쓴 담배연기로 망가지고 있죠
用烟酒堕落

당신은 나는 바보입니다
你是 我是笨蛋

아직 사랑하기에 하루종일 펑펑 울고만있죠
因为依然爱着 所以依然流泪

그대도 나도 모두 바보처럼
但是 我依然像个笨蛋

이제 더 이상 망가지지 마요.........
現在開始不要讓我再墮落下去...

perhaps love

궁 OST 사랑인가요 mv

언제였던건지 기억나진 않아
是不是昨天 我記不起

자꾸 내 머리가 너로 어지럽던 시작
思緒開始因你而混亂

한두 번씩 떠오르던 생각 자꾸 늘어가서
偶爾的想念不斷遞增

조금 당황스러운 이 마음
開始慌張的這顆心

별일이 아닐 수 있다고 사소한 마음이라고
也許沒什麼 只是我多慮

내가 내게 자꾸 말을 하는 게 어색한건
我不斷提醒自己的模樣多麼勉強

사랑인가요 그대 나와 같다면 시작인가요
是愛嗎？如果你我一樣就開始了嗎？

맘이 자꾸 그댈 사랑하네요
心總是想要愛你

온 세상이 듣도록 소리치네요
想要全世界都聽見似的大喊

왜 이제야 들리죠oh~
為什麼我現在才聽見

서로를 만나기 위해 이제야 사랑 찾았다고
為了讓彼此相遇 此刻才找到愛

지금 내 마음을 설명하려 해도
如果我想要說明我心意

니가 내가 되어 맘을 느끼는 방법뿐인데
只能讓你成為我來感受我的心

이미 난 네 안에 있는걸 내 안에 니가 있듯이
我已在你心裏 就象我的心中已經有你

우린 서로에게 이미 길들여진지 몰라
也許我們已經被彼此馴服

사랑인가요 그대 나와 같다면 시작인가요
是愛嗎？如果你我一樣就開始了嗎？

맘이 자꾸 그댈 사랑하네요
心總是想要愛你

온 세상이 듣도록 소리치네요
想要全世界都聽見似的大喊

왜 이제야 들리죠oh~
為什麼我現在才聽見

서로를 만나기 위해 이제야 사랑 찾았다고
為了讓彼此相遇 此刻才找到愛

생각해보면 많은 순간 속에
（생각해보면） （속에）
想想看 這麼多的瞬間裏面
（想想看） （裏面）

얼마나 많은 설레임 있었는지
曾有那麼多的心動

조금 늦은 그만큼 나 더 잘해줄게요 oh
遲到的時間 用我更加愛你作補償

함께할게요 추억이 될 기억만 선물할게요
讓我們一起 把只能回憶的記憶當作禮物

다신 내 곁에서 떠나지 마요 짧은 순간조차도 불안한걸요
不要再從我身邊離開 哪怕只一瞬間

내게 머물러줘요 oh~
請在我身邊停留

그댈 이렇게 많이 사랑하고 있어요
(이토록 많이) (그대 하나만)
我是多麼的 愛著你
(是如此深深的)（只愛你）

이미
已經

궁

finally watched it.. at ep 5 now.
it makes me wonder...
it is cinderella dream for most girls..
to be married to a prince
(but that happen to be a promise between the late emperor & best friend to have their grandchildren to marry in this drama)
to marry a man who does not love u is a torture.
no one to stand by ur side when u needed help most.
if i were her, i would rather die.
stupid 신 is all haughty & cold towards 채경..
but it seems like ice man is melting..
율 likes 채경, too..
hmm.. 4 angled love.. very interesting...
will 신 accept 채경.. who will stand by him
or his 1st love, 효린 (the bitch in making)?
or will 채경 accept 율 who is always by her side?

oh well.. all these are in dramas only..

NOTHING LAST FOREVER...

i don't believe in anything now.
in this world, people walk in & out of your life.
the only foot prints that are left in your hearts..
are the true friends who will stand by you...

i'm really tired of hearing the same thing again.
if u r my good friend, u would have thought of me.. however..
친구아.. 나인데.. 거짓말아..
나의 마음이.. 너무 아파...

friends forever

ha~ i wish it is true..
at least i think it is true.
terence & gang.. i'm really disappointed with all of you.
this is NOT the 1st time that i feel this way.
when i say i'm over it, i mean it.
why must all of you think i'm not?
just because i'm too emotional for my own good?
just because all of u think i'm not over it, u don't want to call me out?
all of u promise to stay as friends though the relationship is over.
all of u promise to call me out & not feel awkward.
NOW WHO ARE THE ONES WHO ARE AWKWARD?
YOU GUYS! NOT ME!
mr eng, if u were really to bring a new girl into the group, so be it.
i'm not that ungracious to bitch at u or her.
look.. i may feel jealous or envious at 1st.
if i'm not, something is wrong with me.
but like i say, it is over already.
we are good friends, right?
i'm happy with it. but are u?
i need to move on with my life.
it is no point to lament & hold u back.
i'm not that selfish..
i'm so disappointed..
my good friends.. i choose to believe all of u are still my good friends.
but.. do u guys feel the same?
i'm afraid not...
i don't even know why i'm crying for all of u.
i really feel nothing last forever.

난.. 진짜 실망해.. 힘없어..
너.. 다들 나의 참다운 친구야?
친구 좋다는 게 뭔가?
너무 슬퍼요...
교분이 식어져...

fresh air

gosh.. the air is so farking polluted now.
i got a big shock when i stepped out of clinic.
i coughed almost immediately..
blah.. no wonder i feel so sick.
maybe it aggravates my flu.

that neighbouring country does not learn..
still burning the forest, no matter how many warnings she got.
she doesn't know she is killing many treelings and polluting the air.
i pity the asthmatic patients.

hurt

my latest song craze is hurt by christina aguilera.
i love this girl for her powerful vocals <3

boy~ i knocked off late today.
i ended up waiting for the 5th bus #92 before i can board it.
it was that freaking packed.
during my wait for the bus, i saw this couple wearing the couple fossil watches.
it got me thinking~
why do people wear couple items? be it watches, outfits, etc~
to tell others they are deeply in love?
it is a form of identity?
an expression of 'i love you'?
well.. i respect them for boldly showing their love.
to me, wearing the same clothes is weird :x
anyway~ i don't think i've the right to comment on that~ =)

Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were, but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today
Ooh, ooh

I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I wanna call you
But I know you won't be there

Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you

Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss
And it's so hard to say goodbye
When it comes to this, oooh

Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?

There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes
And see you looking back

Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself, ohh

If I had just one more day
I would tell you how much that I've missed you
Since you've been away
Ooh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line
To try and turn back time

I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you

kbs world

whoa.. belinda told me of kbs world on scv.
yeah! =D
i can watch it!
i'm so kbs-fied.. lol
i love kbs!

pv winter love

진짜 예뻐요!
i think i'm missing winter time..
it is my fav season.. though it freezes my butt off..
i guess it is because i love snow~

why?

why am i stressed out at work?
didn't feel very good today..
seems like i screwed things up.
even my colleagues too..
maybe it was partly due to the new system..

watching the last ep of 'saving the last dance' by eugene on ch u.
i think i'm immune to touching endings..
i used to sob when i see 'man confesses to woman of everlasting love' & love each other after all the hardships they have been through & living happily ever after.
it will never fail to tickle my little heart.
BUT i did not cry. *stunned*
i am someone who cry easily.
moved by the slightest touching scenes.
is my heart dead now?
void?

maybe

mouldy heart

lol~
just kidding... ^^;
my new cyworld skin~


need some pumping music to get me hyper =)
no more grouchy or gloomy rara~

o~ get me some love~

mv o 正.反.合

time to sleep..
having headache again.. blah

comeback

whoa~
아주 멋져!
형준 & 준수~~ ♡
재중.. reminded me of final fantasy character. 짱!
유천.. like captain jack sparrow! lol~
윤호.. and his dangling earrings.. blah
창민.. no comments :x
watching it online live was a torture~
lag my PC like crazy. duhz~
anyway.. enjoy this =)

061001 인기가요 comeback special

心雨

我好累.
可是为何我又睡不着？

listening to 心雨 - 周杰伦

上梢的黑月牙
白色的竹篱笆
好想告诉我的她
这里像幅画
去年的圣诞卡
记忆在你的芜杂
画面开始没有她
我还在装傻
说好为我跑挖草
学习摆弄它
学生宿舍空荡荡的角
守着电话却等不到她
心里的雨倾盆的下
也沾不湿她的发
本应该明显跟上的牵挂
那伤心原来没有时差
心里的雨倾盆的下
却始终淋不到她
寒风经过院子里的枝芽
也冷却了我手中的鲜花

心里的雨倾盆的下
也沾不湿她的发
本应该明显跟上的牵挂
那伤心原来没有时差
心里的雨倾盆的下
却始终淋不到她
寒风经过院子里的枝芽
也冷却了我手中的鲜花

digital heart

this cf is sad..
everlasting love?

random~
東方神起 3rd jib = 좋아해!
'이제 막 시작된 이야기' 'i'll be there' & 'on & on' are ♡

'O'-正.反.合 - 東方神起
[믹키] Yo! U-Know Let's try some noisy beat.

[유노] "O"-"O"-"O" let's do this.

[영웅] 한걸음 물러서 지금 이 시대를 돌아본다면
[믹키] 원리도, 원칙도, 절대 진리도 없는 것
[영웅] 시대 안의 그대 모습은 언제나 반(反) 이었나..
[믹키] 현실에 없는 이상(理想)은 이상형일 뿐 " O " ([최강]So Why you diggin')

[시아] " O "-----
[최강] 이제 난 두려워, 반대만을 위한 반대
[시아] " O "-----
[최강] 끝도 없이 표류하게 되는 걸

[All] 나 이제 찾는 건, 합(合)을 위한 노력일 뿐 나와 같은 손을, 한 외침을 꿈이 실현 되는 걸 갈망하는 자여.. 그대 곁에 정의라는 모습의 용기를

[유노] You, Know, 절대 절명, 그대들의 논쟁엔 논리가 없어 누구도, 듣지 못하면, 열지 못하면, 절대 해답을 찾을 수 없어
[믹키] 난 가야 돼, 가야 돼. 나의 반(反)이 정(正). 바로 정(正). 바로잡을 때까지, 정.반.합 의 노력이, 언젠가 이 땅에, 꿈을 피워 낼거야..

[시아] 작은 꿈이라 해도 모두 같은 곳을 바라본다면,
[최강] 끝도 없이 새로워져, 없던 길도 만들어가..
[시아] 나의 반(反)의 무게로 흐름들을 막아서는 안되지
[최강] 언제나 공존할 수 있는 걸..

[영웅] " O "-----
[믹키] 모든 게 두려워, 나의 길은 맞는 걸까
[영웅] " O "-----
[유노] 목적 없는 싸움들은 아닌가

[시아] 아름다운 조화를, 변함없는 믿음을 만들 수가 있다면..
[영웅] 한 그루의 나무가 되어, 더 큰 숲을 이루는 게 가치 있을 거야..

[유노] 우린 큰 시련들을 경험했었지. 마치 암흑 속에 있는 것
[믹키] 잘못된 선택이라 후회한다 해도, 절대
[All] 멈추지는 마.. 멈추지는 마.

[최강] " O "-----
[시아] 두려워 하지마, 삶은 계속 되고 있어
[최강] " O "-----
[시아] 이제 모든 건, 제자리를 찾는 것

[All] 나 이제 찾는 건, 합(合)을 위한 노력일 뿐 나와 같은 손을, 한 외침을 꿈이 실현 되는 걸 갈망하는 자여.. 그대 곁에 정의라는 모습의 용기를

[유노] 네가 속한 사회는 모두 정,반,합(正.反.合)의 흐름 속에서
[믹키] 끝도 없이 새로워져, 없던 길도 만들어가..
[영웅,최강] 나의 반(反)의 무게로 흐름들을 막아서는 안되지
[최강] Ah--

[All] " O "-----

reflection

it is really not worth to wait?
it is really true that he is heartless?
it is really a fact that he is so cold?
so determined to carry with his own life without me involved?
how could a person changed so fast?
was it a build-up tension that affect him so much?
why was i not sensitive enough to sense it?
so what if i did?
will it improve the situation?
it is really too late to do anything now.
why?
because he is no longer putting me in 1st place.
i guess i've not been in the 1st place.
someone else whom i respected is in his 1st place.
the decisions he made is partly based on this person.
it hurts like crazy to know how he has changed...
why must things turn out this way?
fate is only 8 yrs?
he is dumping everything aside without thinking of the many things we have been through...
what does it show?
clara is a failure.

假装

不要敷衍我.
i meant what i said.
i'm letting go.
u + me = buddies

watching 蔡依林 - 假装

呼吸着一种孤独的味道
心跳在你沉默以后慢慢的被淡忘掉
我笑了笑反正你看不到
我要的幸福
遗落在你怀抱
当爱失了焦
那些最初的美好
早被你搁在一角
街上拥挤人潮
走着看着都是摧眠符号
记忆停不了
穿过读你的心跳
穿过想你的味道
我只想不被打扰
假装多好我只要
只想要再拥有一秒
去相信你的拥抱
一直会让我依靠
继续等待
还心甘情愿的不想逃

当爱失了焦
那些最初的美好
早被你搁在一角
街上拥挤人潮
走着看着都是摧眠符号
记忆停不了
穿过读你的心跳
穿过想你的味道
我只想不被打扰
假装多好我只要
只想要再拥有一秒
去相信你的拥抱
一直会让我依靠
继续等待
心甘情愿不想逃
假装多好依然是
依然是暧昧的tone调
一个人无理取闹
两人世界的煎熬
我被自己困在自己设下的圈套
像是驼鸟
相信时间是唯一解药
视而不见
傻到了无可救药
其实早明了
你的爱已随风飘
想要找
再也找不到
假装多好我只要
只想要再拥有一秒
去相信你的拥抱
还心甘情愿的不想逃
假装多好依然是
依然是暧昧的tone调
一个人无理取闹
两人世界的煎熬
我被自己困在自己设下的圈套
假装自己
已解开冰冷的手铐

白色风车

我要我的白色风车~
falling sick
my throat & head hurt like crazy
must be down with the flu

watching 周杰伦 - 白色风车

白色的风筝 安静的纯真
真实的感觉 梦境般遥远
甜甜的海水 复杂的眼泪
看你傻笑着 握住我的手
梦希望没有尽头 我们走到这就好
因为我不想太快走完这幸福

很可惜没有祝福 但爱你并不孤独
不会再让你哭 我陪你走到最后
能不能不要回头 你紧紧地抱住我
说你不需要承诺
你说我若一个人会比较自由

我不懂你说什么 反正不会松手
我陪你走到最后 能不能别想太多
会不会手牵着手 晚一点再到尽头
你说不该再相见只为了瞬间

谢谢你让我听见 因为我在等待永远

退后

爱... 真的这么容易就能消失吗？
为何我的心是那么的痛？
为何我的泪总是在眼角？
为何我不能像一个男子汉？
说忘就忘..
说放手就放手..

listening to 周杰伦 - 退后

天空灰的像哭过
离开你以后
并没有更自由
酸酸的空气
守住我们的距离
一幕醉心的结局
像呼吸般无法停息

抽屉泛黄的日记
找到了回忆
那笑容是傻气
你我的过去
被深深真的忘记
缺氧过后的爱情
存心的眼泪是多余

我知道你我都没有错
只是忘了怎么退后
信誓旦旦给的承诺
全被时间扑了空
我知道我们都没有错
只是放手比较好过
最美的爱情回忆里带去

天空灰的像哭过
离开你以后
并没有更自由
酸酸的空气
守住我们的距离
一幕醉心的结局
像呼吸般无法停息

抽屉泛黄的日记
找到了回忆
那笑容是傻气
你我的过去
被深深真的忘记
缺氧过后的爱情
存心的眼泪是多余

我知道你我都没有错
只是忘了怎么退后
信誓旦旦给的承诺
全被时间扑了空
我知道我们都没有错
只是放手会比较好过
最美的爱情会一定带去

我知道我们都没有错
只是放手会比较好过
最美的爱情回忆里带去(待续)
(相信你我还会有开始
只因我们都没有错)

deserted

it is raining so heavily now..
just like my little beating heart.
the grey skies added more gloom to my miseries..

i thought the love is timeless...
i thought it will be everlasting...
i thought we will give it a shot to make it work...

why is the person i'm penning for not giving me the attention?
instead it is the rest of the guys?
i don't want them to call/sms/msn me...
what i want is him...
don't just brush me away like i'm some other acquaintance..
i'm not just another someone..
i'm not..

there are so many things going on in my heart, mind & soul...
pls. enlighten me...
someone tell me what to do...

难道就这样的说忘就忘吗？

timeless mv part 01

timeless mv part 02

drama

my life is a mini drama..
or in fact, each of us have a drama..
mine is full of crap & confusion.
topik was crappy.. i don't know if i will do well.
the only thing i was happy for awhile was meeting him.
both of us had been busy with our own things for the month.
finally have the time to meet up.

'the devil wears prada' is good.
i like it.. somehow i feel i'm like andy.
a newbie at work, trying hard to cope & excel.
somehow she changes & her loved ones cannot accept it.
a movie is still a movie. it has a happy ending.
her relationship takes on a new turn but for me..
it is a totally let-down.
i just realised it has been exactly 1 month.
we agreed to give it a try again but now he told me to go on with our own lives.
he realised it is more than kpop..
the special feeling has disappeared into the thin air.
reminiscence does not exist in a guy's world.
my best friend told me that before.. and he did too..
why are guys so heartless?
or maybe women are too soft-hearted?

why am i crying again? i told myself not to cry.
when he told me the ugly truth, it took me awhile to register as i turned to unlock the door.
my tears just roll down. like it is on auto pilot.
it took me 1 min to realise what he was trying to put across & i called him.
it was an awful time trying to stay calm...
it is a blow after another blow.
how many more to go?
somehow i broke down again.
it is.. no.. it was 8 years.
not 8 min. not 8 hrs. not 8 days. not 8 months. but 8 years.
he was sorry to give me the wrong idea...
to him, he feel that i will have no problem of meeting & finding a guy better than him.
but he don't understand that is not what i want.
i want our relationship to work.
sitting next to him & talk is what i dread most..
for i know things will never ever be the same again.
i do not want to lose him as a friend.. to me, he is more than a friend.
he is someone whom i grow up with..
sharing many ups & downs. through thin & thick.
people always say it is no good to be in a relationship for too long.
and it will be better to pick the person who loves u more than u love him/her.
why can't humans love with an open heart?
love that someone who all your might whole-heartedly?

people have been giving me advice that 3-4 years into the relationship is good enough for marriage.
so was it wrong that i was not ready for marriage at 25?
when i'm ready, it is far too late.
everything has taken onto the wrong path.
so wrong that it costs me our happiness.
i don't give a f*cking damn to evo 9 or those krn guys.
that is NOT what i want.
all i want is him, our friends & the good o' times.
i miss all the times we share, at home, at the bees' place, little nemo, swimming, tennis, gym, ktv, movies, chilling out..
2 months back, we were still laughing at steph & josh for dishing out their silly moments when they were together.
now, i can picture the jokes will be us.
i did not ever think that will happen but it did.
i miss the gang...
why do i feel so lost...?
i'm trying hard to adapt to my new life with him as my new best friend.
am i able to do it?
accept the damn cold fact that he has chosen to let it go.
he has chosen the path to be alone.
me? what will i choose?
why did my most feared moments come true?
i don't know what cause the special feelings to disppear..
is there no way to rekindle it?
why must he force me to turn my attention to other guys?
i don't want..
what i want is my old life back...
i want a time machine.
bring me back to 1999.
let me go back to the past and let me dwell.
i want to be that sunshine girl.
i don't want to wake up from my dream.

tell me what happened just now is just a nightmare..

ANYTHING can happen.
& NOTHING last forever.

give me love...
pls..
give me the strength to love someone again..

listening to 그녀를 사랑해줘요 by 하동균

잠깐 기다려줄래.
지금 데리러 갈게.
왜 자꾸 울기만 하니.
말해, 말해. 어디에 있니.

니가 사랑하는 사람이,
너를 두고 간 거니.
집으로 데려다 줄게.
가자, 가자. 바람이 차가우니까.

너를 울리는 그 사람이,
뭐가 그렇게 좋으니.

너는 모르지, 너만 모르지.
너를 사랑하는 내 맘을.
걸음이 느린 내가 먼저 가지 못해서,
내 자릴 뺏긴 아픈 사랑을.

너의 웃는 모습이 누구 보다 예쁜지,
그 사람 알기나 하니.
정말, 정말. 알고도 너를 울리니.

이름 모르는 당신에게 부탁 하나만 하는데.
사랑해줘요, 사랑해줘요. 내가 사랑하는 그녀를.
당신이 나 대신에 가진, 나의 그녀를.
함부로 다룰 생각하면 안돼요.

사랑해줘요, 내 마음도 몰라주는 그녀를.
그녀가 사랑하는 사람, 당신이니까.
나 보다 많이 사랑해줘요.
다시는 울리지는 말아요.

cold

now i know why i feel so lethargic.
down with a cold :(

blah~ i ought to meet my best friend when she asked me to head down to Velvet..
have not club for a long time & i reckon it will be good to unwind.
i feel so lifeless...

sickening

i feel irritated.
last min meeting notices given at least twice this week.

and why do i feel sad when he said he is going for a guys' night with our friends?
for once, i feel down when i hear that :(
my best friend is out with her friends.
i feel i've no life after i landed myself in this new job.
working till late & feeling so tired..
i just feel crappy...

i'm sick of working late.
i'm sick of getting stuck in the traffic jams.
i'm sick of having no life.
i'm sick......

sigh.. i should go & study hard
stop lamenting...

홍콩

상현: 11월에 홍콩 갈래?
나: .....

hmmmm.. weird..
진짜 이상해~

i should be in bed..
been lacking proper sleep since last month........

zzzZZzzzzzz

dread

i do not feel like going to work...
it is only 2 weeks & i feel crappy...
feel so lost & incompetent...
i hate this feeling...
all the new terms & the work i have to do is driving me nuts...

withdrawal~

i miss 신화~
i miss 동방~
i miss 슈주~
i miss 태국~
i miss the fanmeeting~
i miss 성민's surprised face when i spoke korean~
i miss 한경's look when i spoke mandarin~
i miss 시원's face when he heard me speaking mandarin to 한경~
i miss 예성's sexy look when i walked over~
i miss 신동's shocked face when i told him of the birthday present~
i miss 은혁's shy look when i spoke to him..

i'm missing so many things...

桃花

this can't be true right....
상현씨..
god.. i don't know what to do now...
all these things are driving me bonkers...

at a loss

it feels weird..
the long awaited day has passed..
i've met many people during this big event and it has been an eye-opener.
it leaves me with many many wonderful memories that will last me well for the life time..
it is something that i will never ever forget...
from all access to a meal..
seeing 신화 in a different light <333
연곤~ 난 정말 감동해요...
all the things u have done for me..
there is not a word i can use to express my deepest gratitude...
i feel like i'm lost or something..
i wonder why....
feeling so empty~

^o^

전진 recognises me =)
i bow & he bows back~
helen says he is staring at me :x
i guess he remembers me as the girl backstage~
this would be the 3rd time he acknowledges me~
that night after the concert, he was walking out with 앤디, he smiled & bowed at me~
gaga~~ i don't want to wash my right hand after i was introduced to him =P
he is really friendly & smiley <3
민진성 짱~

i saw the goodemg's photographer~
lol~ when i saw him, i will recall what bea said on the concert day~
he was taking pics of us with the banner.
bea: "他是在 aim rara 的！"
erm.. he was focusing his camera up & down and.. erm.. yeah~
after the pics were taken, i asked if we can preview and he smiled very shyly.
lol~ he is cute =D


연곤 called 상현 this morning saying that he misses me..
sigh.. i didn't even know he went back to kr yesterday~
feeling down..
i thought i could at least see him before the team fly back..
sigh.. he is always the one to fly home 1st..

stunned

dirty 혜성~~ ㅋㅋ
he wore back the same t shirt & cap that he wore to manna!
i wonder how he stand it..
bbq smell.. eeks~
동완 the dork~ he tried to drink from our water jug :x
l.u.g is.. ah~ they sat together ^^
so sweet~

ga~ feeling so lost~
연곤씨.. 당신는...
나는.. 할 말을 잃은..

cherry love

i'm shaking right now..
1.30am is a moment that i will never ever forget...
민우.. 사랑해~~
연곤.. 진짜 감동해요~

state of the art is now a state of shock for me..
overwhelmed..
no.. that is not the word to use..
i can't pick a word to describe my inner most feelings now.
it is more than a dream come true.. really....
the gift is something i did not ask for...
it really caught me off guard...

i feel like crying..
tears of gratitude and happiness...

drained

goodness... i can't believe i'm so tired..
had a really long long day.
in fact, i just got home..

finally know my job scope..
whoa.. a totally new expertiste.
i'm going to be meeting lots of nurses, docs & patients...
very challenging~~
i hope i can meet or surpass their expectations..

think i'm going to sleep soon.

...

i'm feeling so depressed after the dinner with them.
the promotion.. sigh.. oh.. never mind........
it is pointless crying over split milk.

mr andy.. he is such an interesting person ^^
i was so surprised that him said 'i love u' after i booked the cab.
lol~ i know it was a joke.
i felt sad when he was heading back to Seoul.
he is really a very very nice person.
very honoured to know he trusted us..

mr charles.. hmm.. there is something about him that makes me think..
he is cute.. i don't know..
i don't find him cute when i 1st met him a few days back :x
i'm such a weirdo~

mr jackie.. haha~ such a dork..
i'm so glad to know 윤호 is such a great person <3

mr shin.. u r truly a respected person....
i don't know how to express my heartfelt thanks to him..

1st day

of work at NUH was fun! ^^
my orientation classmates are nice!
i'm loving this place~
it gives me a strong sense of pride!

恨你

我好想好想恨你

我了解
你只活在记忆里头
原谅你的残酷理由
人类的心是个无底洞
没有好感再尝试也没有用
大多数人都相同
喜欢的只是爱情的脸孔

我好怨卷这样的生活
也许活着是一种悲哀
有些事情就是看不开
世上是否真的有好聚好散

我和他已变成了世上最熟悉的陌生人了

i will never forget the pact to go to kr 2 yrs later from now.
i will not devote my time to any guys.
that krn guy is just a friend, nothing else.
i will not turn to him just because he supports my interst.
i'm at my most weakest state but i still can differentiate rights from wrongs.
my heart, mind & soul hurts like crazy but i will not choose to hurt another person.
i will rather hurt myself & drown in my own sorrows.

will i lose myself along the way?

frankly, i've no idea.

goodbye to you

i really cannot find a better song to express my feelings now.
really feel like giving up on myself.
i don't know how would i react when i see u & the gang for ur bday treat later.
will i smile & be all gracious?
or will i break down in the ladies' room?
frankly.. i don't know.

"Goodbye To You"

Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by

I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said,

[Chorus:]
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right

[Chorus]

And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time

[Chorus x2]

And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star

a big joke

that heaven is playing on me.

this krn guy expresses his interest in me.
asking me to go over to seoul soon.
i can work & study there.
he is not aware of the relationship problems i'm facing here, though he knows i'm attached.
well.. i WAS attached.
i'm now single but on the way to make the relationship work again.
through a very painful method.

to him, i love Kr alot and it has been a huge interest to me.
he will teach me krn & i will help him with english.
to me, he is like an older brother.

the guy whom i love so much is forcing me to give up all krn related things.
this guy here, who is a native krn, is encouraging me to go to Seoul.
i know he will embrace my likes with open arms.
i can watch, listen to my interest openly...
live the life-style i have always wanted to live...

*smirk*
how pathetic my life is.
entangle in this mess.
a tricky, sticky mess that i can't seem to get myself out of it.

why is heaven playing such a cruel joke on me?

yo yo

state still..
it seems like i can't get myself out of this cycle.
they want me to drop my hobby. totally.
no viewing of vids, no songs, no perf, etc.
total cut off.
what is this?
an exchange for a relationship.
a relationship that was once almost perfect till i wreck it 2 yrs back.
i told them to give me one month.
am i able to do it?
he, himself, agrees that it is very selfish & demanding.
afterall, i've been watching these stuffs for the past 10yrs.
even before i knew him..
i need to remove my source of entertainment in order to make the relationship work.
he can't bring himself to hate me.
so he will hate the thing that bring me away from him.
he said he cannot live with the fact that my hobby is a major part of my life.

my heart is slashed once again.
not with a knife now.
but a chain saw.

it is either him or my entertainment.

my best friend told me that
'losing him is one thing. losing yourself is another. '
am i really losing myself?
i realise i love him more than i thought.
to the extend that i'm trying to drop my hobby..
to the extend that i know i'm losing my own identity.

i don't want to think anymore.
why am i force to make this decision?
my mum is not even forcing me to drop anything.
随缘 is her reply..
what about him & his family?
i MUST ABANDON my fav things.

can i just die?