이안에 너있다

hahaa! i love this!
all of their acting improved~
yesterday's ban jun was hilarious! =D
so far, this is the best ep.
준수 & 창민's were spooky.. :x
gave me the creeps
it appeared that both of them wanted to be in love so badly.. *laughs*
stalkers are crazy~

smitten by the girl


준수 serenading the girl with his singing and 창민 was so dorky





'안녕'
i want flowers. lol


these scenes were lovely ^^
blowing the soap suds away... awww...


and it leads to.. my fav scene!
but 창민 spoils it all.. lol


윤호 making 재중 blushes =P



this pose.. wah..
i think all 윤호 fans wanted to be in 재중's position


재중 trying to figure out what 윤호 is up to..
윤호 was awfully cute in this ep. 애교!



i have that green scrub cloth =D


윤호 looking at 재중 sleeping :x
so brokeback.. HAHAHAA!



재중 told 유천 about 윤호's love.
they were so uncomfortable.. :x


stalkers revealed!







after the stalkers, it is time to reveal 재호's love ^^;







hahaa! they went ' o.O '
both of them were dating?!


so 윤호 was really in love with 재중?
아니오....! he was guilty for spoiling this!



앗! ㅠ.ㅠ



너무 너무 재미있어요!
<333

어떻게

어떻게...
i didn't want to give up...
힘들어요..



what is love?










watching TVXQ Ban Jun - NGs 060312

acceptance

u gave me this
http://www.lyricsfreak.com/d/def-leppard/38986.html

and i cried again.
why do u always give me false hopes?
pinning on the chance that i could see u?

people say different interests will ruin a relationship
and i do agree.
this is happening right here, right now.
i've try adapting to your likes and pretty much let u do whatever u want.
what about u?
so it is really wrong to go ahead with i really like to do.
go ahead and judge me.
i've no objection as it has been overruled.
my heart is made of stone
cause i cannot see and feel what is going on around.
i've shed too much tears for the past week, more than 27 years of my life.

in the past, someone i used to love wanted me to be like super glue.
i changed for him and became one.
in the end, that is very same reason for leaving me.

now, u want me to have my own hobbies and likes.
what is happening?
history repeats.
what am i supposed to do?

why can't i be myself?
do the things i enjoy and be happy.
why must i be caught in your 'my ideal woman' status?
no one is perfect.
u know that.


let go of your hands..
when u have no more faith in us.
u r tired.
so am i.

u just killed me today.
once again.
i doubt i will ever re-live.

too many files

:x
i need to clear out so much files from my PC
i wonder how long i will take

must cheer myself up.
i'm sick of being down in the ruts.

watching 신화 - I Pray 4 U Perf

왜?

왜 뜨거운 눈물이 나의 두 뺨에 흘러내렸어요...?
why must u always make me cry?
i don't want to miss u anymore...
u'll only make me cry more each time...

i don't want to cry anymore...

我要快乐

张惠妹 - 我要快乐

又被爱伤了一遍
无所谓当作成长
刚刚走开的人
烟还点着味道却淡了
我并不是天生爱寂寞
却比任何人都多
就算把世界给我
我还是一无所有
我要快乐
我要能睡的安稳
有些人不抱了才温暖
离开了才不恨
我早应该割舍
我要快乐
哪怕笑的再大声心
不是热的
全都是假的
只有眼泪是真的
把从前想了一遍
谢谢了伤我的人
想做乐观的人
每种雨声听了都不冷
我并不是天生爱寂寞
却比任何人都多
就算把世界给我
我还是一无所有
我要快乐
我要能睡的安稳
有些人不抱了才温暖
离开了才不恨
我早应该割舍
我要快乐
哪怕笑的再大声心
不是热的
全都是假的
我的决定是对的

watching 张惠妹 - 我要快乐 MV

my destiny

orange - japanese pronounciation
blue - korean translation
black - english translation

동방신기 - My Destiny

歸えりたい。長い夜に 僕の胸はまだ迷っている
카에리타이 나가이 요루니 보쿠노 무네와 마다 마욧테이루
돌아가고 싶어. 기나긴 밤에 내 가슴은 아직 헤매이고 있어
I hope to go back. A long night of waiting, my heart aches
歸れない。淡い朝に 告げた誓い 噓になるから
카에레나이 아와이 아사니 츠게타 치카이 우소니 나루카라
돌아갈 수 없어. 희미한 아침에 고했던 맹세가 거짓이 되어버리니까
However, there is no turning back. When the morning comes, all is gone
あの頃の僕らの影が 今 立ち上がり 動き出す
아노 코로노 보쿠라노 카게가 이마 타치아가리 우고키다스
그시절 우리들의 그림자가 지금 일어나 움직이기 시작하지
In the past, I see our silhouettes moved but now they did not
You know that I'm still waiting for you

Another day, Another night
未來はそこに 立ち止まっているけれど
미라이와 소코니 타치토맛테이루케레도
미래는 그 곳에 멈춰서있지만
The future will not come as time has stopped
Now Living without your love
君の 震える 肩を 思い出しては 言い聞かせてる
키미노 후루에루 카타오 오모이다시테와 이이키카세테루
그대의 떨리는 어깨를 떠올리고는 되뇌이고 있어
I still remember how you stood there, trembling
現実だけが切ない My destiny
이마다케가 세츠나이 My destiny
지금만이 애절한 My destiny
Now, it is only sorrowful my destiny

忘れたい。君の瞳 君の淚 君のため息を
와스레타이 키미노 히토미 키미노 나미다 키미노 타메이키오
잊고싶어. 그대의 눈동자 그대의 눈물 그대의 한숨을
I want to forget everything. Your tears, your breathes...
忘れない。リング外し氣持ち隠し 過ごす 每日
와스레나이 링구 하즈시 키모치 카쿠시 스고스 마이니치
잊을 수 없어. 반지를 빼버리고 마음을 숨기고 지내는 매일
There is no way of forgetting. Everyday, I still think of you as I breathe.
心だけ叫んでいるよ もう一度だけ傳えたい
코코로다케 사켄데이루요 모-이치도다케 츠타에타이
마음만이 외치고 있어 다시 한 번만 더 전하고 싶어
My heart is yearning for you, I hope to go back again.
You know that My heart's beating for you

Another way, Another line
永遠なんて信じていた 蒼い季節
에이엔난테 신지테이타 아오이토키
영원같은걸 믿고있었던 푸른 계절
I believe we could be together eternally
But Living without your life
君とまわり道でも 手を取り合って步きたかった
키미토 마와리미치데모 테오 토리앗테 아루키타캇타
멀리 돌아간다 해도 그대와 손을 잡고 걷고싶었어
You are so far away from me, I wish to grasp your hand
思い出と 溶け合う My destiny
오모이데토 토케아우 My destiny
추억과 함께 녹아드는 My destiny
My destiny melted in reminiscence

二人でいれば風も波も雲も 越えられる 氣がした years ago
후타리데 이레바 카제모 나미모 쿠모모 코에라레루 키가시타 years ago
우리 둘이서라면 바람도 파도도 구름도 넘을 수 있을 것 같았어 years ago
Years ago, two of us are like the wind, waves and clouds
叶うなら One more chance
카나우나라 One more chance
이루어진다면 One more chance
Could we go back, one more chance
時間旅行へ飛びたい Spread my wing
지칸료코에 토비타이 Spread my wing
시간여행을 향해 날고싶어 Spread my wing
I want to travel back to the past, spread my wing

Another you Another me
生まれ變わっても結合ばれぬ 思いならば
우마레 카왓테모 무스바레누 오모이나라바
다시 태어난다 해도 맺어질 수 없는 마음이라면
But it is not possible
So Living without your near
君と夢で会えたらそれだけで いい それだけが いい
키미토 유메데 아에타라 소레다케데 이이 소레다케가 이이
그대와 꿈에서 만난다면 그것만으로 괜찮아 그것만이 괜찮아
I can only meet you in my dreams, it is all right.. though it is in my dreams
痛みさえ奪って my destiny
이타미사에 우밧테 my destiny
아픔마저 가져가... my destiny
It is painful... my destiny

Another day Another night
今は二人でそれぞれの道を進む
이마와 후타리데 소레조레노 미치오 스스무
지금은 둘이서 서로의 길을 나아가
Now I'll move on alone

Now Living without your love
君の 揺れる 睫を 思い出しては 言い聞かせてる
키미노 유레루 마츠게오 오모이다시테와 이이키카세테루
그대의 흔들리던 속눈썹을 떠올리고는 되뇌이고 있어
Remembering the times
現実だけが切ない My destiny
이마다케가 세츠나이 My destiny
지금만이 애절한 My destiny
Now, it is only sorrowful my destiny

The last time we made love, you said that you love me true
I'm missing your tender touch, I'm missing your...

credits: http://cafe.daum.net/donabanglove

listening to 東方神起 - My Destiny

goodbye stranger

i'm just a stranger to u.
we don't know each other anymore.
many a times, u broke my heart
and u never know.


Alicia Keys - Goodbye

Mhmn bye bye

How do you love someone
That hurts you oh so bad
With intentions good
Was all he ever had
But how do I let go when I've
Loved him for so long and I've
Given him all that I could
Maybe love is a hopeless crime
Giving up what seems your lifetime
What went wrong with something once so good

How do you find the words to say
To say goodbye
If your heart don't have the heart to say
To say goodbye
I know now I was naive
Never knew where this would lead
And I'm not trying to take away
From the good man that he is
But how do I let go when I've
Loved him for so long and I've
Given him all that I could

Was it something wrong that we did
Because others infiltrated
What went wrong with something once so good
How do you find the words to say
To say goodbye
If your heart don't have the heart to say
To say goodbye

Is this the end are you sure
How should you know when you've never been here before
It's so hard to just let go
When this is the one and only love I've ever known
So how do you find the words to say
To say goodbye
If your heart don't have the heart to say
To say goodbye

listening to Alicia Keys - Goodbye

peace? maybe not

i came home early.
hoping to have a good rest.
in the end, my mum is screaming at my Pri 6 cousin.
for not studying hard enough.
it is useless.
my cousin is not keen on studying.
she only loves food, games and tv shows.
almost everyday, after a hard day work,
i came home to hear all these yellings.

how will i feel?

irritated. resentful. tired.

all i want is peace.

even though i'm feeling sick,
i'm hoping u will call.

but i know u will not.

u do not care anyway.

dumb bells

got back to office today and it was a mess.
as always T.T

how the fuck would i know where are the things u people put?!
ask those who were around for the past 2 days!
why ask me?!
wake up and search on your own!
stop asking me for everything.
i'm not a genius.

i'm unexpectionally frustrated today.
my ear ache has been bothering me for a day :x

and the one whom i thought will sms me didn't..

it is only when i sms u & u replied curtly.

i thought u would take the initiative.. yet.. u are just one of them..

feel like crying.

i hate the world today.

ㅠ.ㅠ

the persistent pain is driving me nuts.
i thought the ear ache will be gone by now
but no...

i don't feel like working :(

it is the weekend and i should be happy.

no.

hug

i want a hug badly...
where are u when i need u most?
is this my only comfort.....?



★東方神起 - HUG (English)

재중★) Once I say I love you I think you would be gone
cuz we are too young to love
so I can say alittle long hold you in my arms
내가 너에게 '사랑해'라고 말하면 네가 떠날 것만 같았어.
우리는 사랑하기엔 너무 어리니까, 다음에 말할꺼야.
그대를 내 팔에 안고서.

유천★) but I will be waiting for you
to say you want me to be with you
I'll live in your love and your dream forever and ever
하지만 네가 나와 함께 있길 원한다고말하기 위해 난 기다릴꺼야.
난 네 사랑과 네 꿈 안에서 영원히 있을꺼야.

재중★) whenever you look in my eyes
there are so many smiles and tears
I was born to love feel so deep inside.
if you need me I'll be your man (I'll be your man)
네가 내 눈을 볼 때마다그곳엔 수많은 미소와 눈물들이 있어.
난 사랑하기 위해 태어난 거야.
네가 원한다면 난 너의 남자가 되겠어.

준수★) whenever you look in my eyes, I do want to show you my love
I make up my mind make your dreams come true.
nobody can stop me to say I love you.
네가 나의 눈을 볼 때,난 내 사랑을 너에게 들키고 싶지 않아.
내가 너의 꿈을 이루어줄께.
누구도 내가 너를 사랑한다는 말을 막을 수 없어.

창민★) How can I ask who you're still looking for I'm the one
since love seems to make me blind
I try to find all day long but I cannot hold
네가 계속 누구를 찾고 있는지내가 어떻게 물을 수 있을까,
사랑이 내 눈을 멀게 한 이후로나는 하루 종일 찾으려 하지만 알 수가 없어.

윤호★) we talk on the phone every night
and so came closer day by day
I touch you and kiss you and hold you to feel
but in dream
우리는 밤마다 전화하고 더 가까워지지.
난 널 쓰다듬고 키스해,그리고 널 느끼고자 하지만 그건 단지 꿈에서일 뿐.

유천★) whenever you look in my eyes
네가 내 눈을 바라볼 때마다
준수★) there are so many smiles and tears
수많은 웃음과 눈물들이 그 안에 있어
유천★) I was born to love feel so deep inside
난 사랑하기 위해 태어난 거야
준수★) If you need me I'll be your man (I'll be your man)
네가 원한다면 난 너의 남자가 될께
창민★) whenever you look in my eyes
I do want to show you my love
네가 내 눈을 볼 때면,난 내 사랑을 들키고 싶지않아.

All) I make up my mind make your dreams come true
내가 네 꿈을 이뤄줄께.

창민★) nobody can stop me to say
아무도 내가 말하는 것을 막을 수 없어
준수★) I love you
널 사랑한다는 그 말을

All) in my arms, in my soul I want to hold you baby
you don't know how much I love you do you baby
내 두 팔과 온 마음으로 널 안고 싶어.
넌 내가 얼마나 널 사랑하는 지 모를꺼야. 그렇지?

재중★) Like a sun rising up, I can't stop loving you.
can't hold back anymore
태양이 떠오르는 것처럼난 널 사랑하는 것을 멈출 수 없어,
더 이상 숨기지 않을꺼야.
창민★) whenever you look in my eyes
there are so many smiles and tears
네가 내 눈을 바라볼 때마다,그 안에는 많은 웃음과 눈물들이 담겨있어.
준수★) I was born to love feel so deep inside
If you need me, I'll be your man (I'll be your man)
난 널 사랑하기 위해 태어났어.
네가 원한다면, 난 너의 남자가 되겠어.
재중★) whenever you look in my eyes(in my eyes)
I do want to show you my love
네가 내 눈을 볼 때면 난 내 사랑을 들키고 싶지 않아.

All) I make up my mind make your dreams come true
내가 네 꿈을 이뤄줄께.

재중★) nobody can stop me to say, I love you.
아무도 내가 널 사랑한다고 말하는 걸 막을 수 없어

credits: olnyfive tvfxq

listening to 東方神起 - HUG (English)

ear ache

T.T
the dull ache on my right ear is driving me nuts.
my mood is already down in the slumps and this pain make me even more frustrated.
feel like slamming myself onto the wall...
i want to ease the pain..


wtf is happening? :(

인사

★김재중 - 인사

바람이 머문 그 시간조차
나에겐 너무 모자란 걸

한 번의 미소 마지막 안사
사랑합니다 그댈

시간에 지쳐도 사랑에 아파도
그 시간조차 추억이고

마지막 인살하네요
사랑합니다 사랑합니다

fly away fly away love
fly away fly away love
fly away fly away love

내 인생 단 한 번에 사랑아
안녕

안녕...

--------------------------
soothe my breaking heart..
why am i feeling so down.. :(
어마.. 보고싶어...

listening to 김재중 - 인사

therapy

didn't feel like talking to anyone.
i'll only make others upset... :(

i'm a hermit today.
and i'm on a blogging spree..
i want a moment to myself.
to indulge in emptiness.

what is my best source of therapy?
entertaining myself with fan cams and vids.
saw a couple of tvxq fan cams and m's sometimes mv.

잘생긴 윤호


cute 준수 singing to Beautiful Life


pouty 재중..


i'm feeling this gloomy.. like this cap.


such a dork. this scene did make me laugh.


a bouquet of baby breathes <3>
flowers are not my fav but.. somehow, baby breathes always attracted me since young.
maybe they reminded me of little cotton candies.

i realised i miss m alot...
ever since that crappy forum incident, i didn't want to watch any shinhwa stuffs.
i just want a shinhwa-free moment..
it was by accident that i clicked on m's mv.
i didn't know it is his mv.
and it makes me realise.. i miss shinhwa..

tvxq are the boys and shinhwa are the men.

i love them all.

watching M - MV Sometimes

liar

fucking liar.
now her reply is 'i will do it during my holidays next week. ;D"
what is up with that smiley emoticon?!

i'm not interested to know.
all i want is my $.
the debt of more than 5 fucking months.

i fucking hate this.

T.T

state of denial

i'm losing myself again.
and i hate myself for doing it.
it just ruin everything i've worked so hard for.
trying to prove to someone whom i love that i can be better.

in the end..
all my efforts gone down in the drain.

many a times, i want to give up everything i have
and go to somewhere far far far away...
i had really crazy thoughts in the pool last night...

selfish, self denial, self pity, irresponsible are the words that come to my mind.
how can someone, who is not in my shoes, comprehend?

life is crap.

i feel like crying my eyes out.
who will hold me while i sob?

no one.

fly away.. fly away love.. (quote: 김재중 - 인사 )

listening to 東方神起 - I Wanna Hold You 20060210 1st Concert Live

peeved T.T

if i could do something, i will want to fly to Japan and smack someone.
AND GET BACK MY $.
it is just amazing how one can owe me $ for months and despite the number of times of reminders, i still don't get my $ back.
in oct 2005, someone msg me on msn asking for help to get some cds.
i happily agreed as i trusted this person.
then in dec 2005, some major screw-ups occurred in the forum i modded.
the whole forum shut down and i 'lost' contact with this person.
those people started another forum, which i have no interest to join.
(why join a bunch of liars and fucking fakers?)

in this new millennium, there is this thing called the Electronic Mail or Email for short.
we even have the famous MSN messenger.
in my email, i asked her why she did not deliver what she had promised in dec 2005.
she replied i was not even online and she can't contact me.
T.T
interesting reasons i would say!
those who know me always see me online. fucked up excuses.
today, i found out that she is helping some members to get the japan ver of shinhwa stuffs and ordering some branded skirt that is ONLY available in USA.
how would i feel?
yes, u r right. PEEVED.
how responsible this person is!
a fucking liar who told me she will return the $ ASAP.
she got someone(who owed her $) to send me part of the debt 1st.
promised to return me the remaining as she will be going to the post office and mailed me my $.
my foot! T.T
you know what?
EMPTY VESSELS MAKE THE MOST NOISE.

i emailed her again just now to ask for confirmation.
she is supposed to email me once she send out the mail.
apparently.. NOT. 5 whole months of waiting.
i'm feeling damn fucking pissed.
i fought with terence partly because of this matter.
this whole $ chasing thing is pissing me off and ruin my mood.
and it just messed up all my happy mood.
i never thought i will ever type 'fuck' in my blogs.
and i refrain of using it.. but
why?
i cussed them when i'm really angry.
i'm sick of all these crap.

that relaxing swim earlier did not calm me down.
damn it.

lesson learnt:
do not EVER help someone to order things whom u thought u can trust.
only do it AFTER that someone pay u 1st.
i hate asking people to return me my $.
why?
because one should always have the initiative to return the things one owe.
THIS GIRL SIMPLY DOES NOT HAVE IT.

gloomy

blah..
beatrice and shirlene are checking out the air tic to Japan and the prices shot up by at least $100+.
wtf.
in less than 2 weeks, the prices went up so much. insane!
we are not sure if we could secure the concert tic, too..
we are leaving it in fate's hand.
it is destiny if we could go..
need to fork out at least $700 for the air tic.

T.T

helen and i are saying these boys are stress causing boys. indeed.. :(

i feel like going home now, though it is only 3pm.
i'm tired.
i want to go home and finish off my dvds.
i'm still left with 2 discs.
have been talking about wanting to watch it.. but i always procrastinate..
argh!
i want to watch 궁 too..
so many vids and so little time.